The Case for Being a Big Baby

Finally!! Full permission to throw a tantrum, cry big tears, and love as hard as possible.

Before I bust into this topic, Kool-Aid Man style (foreshadowing, you'll see), I want to mention that I’m generalizing a lot in this post about kids and adults. I’ll be using the word “you” and “we” to reference humans as a greater species. But please know that I’m not assuming anything about you, specifically. You might be different than the average adult (in fact, I know you are!), the wording is simply used to draw a point about societal conditioning, not make assumptions of what you, uniquely are like. You are unique and that’s why you’re here!

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Remember being a kid? Remember how BIG everything felt? You felt joy, love, sorrow, excitement, anger. Huge! Technicolor! versions of those feelings. When something wasn’t fair, you cried so hard your whole body got involved. When you hugged your favorite stuffed animal, you loved it so much it hurt, in the best possible way, like the edges of your heart couldn’t quite contain themselves. Colors looked brighter. Feelings felt HUUUGE.

You missed people deeply, even if they’d only stepped away to run an errand. You’d run into their arms when they got back. Anger made its way into big, solo tantrums that helped your little body process and regulate. You laughed till your stomach hurt just because someone said “butt”. You lost yourself in art and stories, making masterpieces that didn’t need anyone’s approval. You sang nonsensical songs you made up on the spot. Every corner of your imagination came alive, and you didn’t question whether it was “productive” or “good enough.” You just…were.

Maybe you feel BIG HUGE LOVE when you’re with your child or someone you love. Their smile, their laugh, their existence lets you peek at that part of you again. But for most of us, outside of those rare glimpses, it’s not that often. Do you still cry when something isn’t fair? Do you throw your arms around someone the second you see them just because you can’t help it? How often are you laughing so hard that your stomach hurts?

I know for a lot of us, it’s not that often. It’s okay. We’ve grown up, and life has gotten complicated. Somewhere along the way, the bigness of those childhood feelings got walled off, and many of us started projecting our anger onto others rather than processing it ourselves first.

When I think about why this happens, I imagine the walls we build over time to protect ourselves. At first, the walls are small, a single brick here and there. We get hurt, a brick goes up. We learn life isn’t fair in yet another way, more bricks. We build higher and higher, fortifying ourselves more and more.

And as the walls grow, the technicolor of life drains away and life gets more beige. The feelings we once felt so freely: Joy! Grief! Love! Anger! Sadness! They start to feel risky. We’re afraid of what they might cost us. What if we love too much and lose? What if we cry and have to confront pain? What if we laugh too loudly and look silly? What if we throw a solo temper tantrum and feel embarrassed? All feelings are crucial as they're indicators that we care. By embracing them, we can move through them and find clarity on the other side.

But that's scary! So most of us stay safe inside our bland, beige fortress. The world calls this “growing up" and we buy in, telling ourselves beige is comfortable.

But I have to ask, is being beige and comfortable working for us? Like, truly working?

What if we bust through those walls with power and confidence, Kool-Aid Man style (foreshadowing finally paying off)? What if we channeled all that Big Baby Energy from our childhood and felt as much as we could once again?!

I know! I know! The idea of feeling that deeply might sound exhausting when our phones and true crime documentaries are here to distract us from feeling too much. But my therapist says it all the time: 🎵 feel your feelings 🎵 And really feeling your feelings is a shortcut to a brighter future for everyone. It’s a shortcut to joy! To real, human love and connection! To the part of you that’s as alive as it is vulnerable!

Think about what it would be like to feel like a kid again. To cry when life isn’t fair, even in the little ways, instead of brushing it off because unfairness has been normalized. Life isn’t fair, and that isn’t okay. But to rebuild the world, to shape a brighter future, we have to do the hard part...ugh...feel.

The world got this way because of beige, crusty adults refusing to break down their walls and pumice stone their callused hearts so they can embrace humanity, cry at injustice, kick and scream with anger, and love hard.

I'd rather be a big soft baby seeing a full spectrum of bright color than a walled-off crusty adult stuck in a world of beige.

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This week, focus on: being a big baby!

This week, your challenge is to focus on one emotion each day. Lean into it fully, Big Baby style, and give yourself permission to feel without filters. Try to not skip a day (unless it's truly unsafe for your mental health), every day is just as important:

• Sunday: joy! Immerse yourself in an activity that brings you great joy, or allow yourself to feel pure joy in whatever you already had planned for the day. Let go and let yourself get really into it without worrying how you look.

• Monday: Sadness! Take a moment to release something that’s been weighing on you. Watch a touching movie, look at old photos, or simply sit with the parts of life that feel a little tender. Tears are welcome here. I'm already crying thinking about my thing. I'm excited to feel!

• Tuesday: Laughter! Find something that makes you laugh so hard you might snort. Call your friend that gives you the laughing fits. Watch that stupid video that makes you laugh uncontrollably. Think back to a memory that makes you laugh every dang time. Watch your favorite comedian's special.

• Wednesday: Anger! Throw a solo tantrum about life being unfair! Because it is! Safely, stomp your feet, throw your arms in the air wildly, yell “UGH!”, scream into a pillow, and/or scribble furiously on paper like a spooky child in a movie. Release that anger physically, on your own, like a true Big Baby.

• Thursday: Play! Create something without caring if it's good, perfect, or presentable. Doodle, bake from your imagination, build a pillow fort, build a burger with ridiculous toppings, whatever sparks your playful side. The only rule is to have fun!

• Friday: Gratitude! Spend the day searching for gratitude and say "thank you" out loud or to yourself each time you think of something, or someone, you're grateful for. See if you can say thank you 20 times! I think you can.

• Saturday: Curiosity! Pretend you’re seeing the world for the first time. Take a walk and notice everything with a child’s wonder: Leaves! Clouds! Bugs! Life! Ask “why” or “how” about everything you encounter, and enjoy the exploration!

By the end of the week, you’ll have embraced a full spectrum of emotions, Big Baby Energy is here and I hope it stays!!! Respond to this email (or comment in Substack) to let me know how it’s going. I want to hear your stories!

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What the heck else is happening!!

• This week in Full Time You we’re learning what our actual superpowers are: the reason why people love working with us! We’ll be channeling this energy into a career strategy plan later in the year. You can still join the program, it’s not too late!

• I’ve been spending more time away from the big social media apps and more on the apps (with social features) I love using. Specifically Hevy (track workouts and follow friends) and Swarm (a check-in app relic from the past). My friends are on there and we’re cheering each other on! Maybe I’ll see you there?!

• I’m celebrating hitting 30 paid subscribers to The Big Slide! I am *SO GRATEFUL* to everyone for supporting me (just $5/mo or $50/yr). It’s important to me that the content is free and accessible to all, so any financial support I can get helps keep it that way :-)