I'm getting ripped!

Gender expression, muscles, and rewriting the gym narrative

This piece discusses body image and intentional body change. It also includes reflections on gender presentation and muscle gain as a personal tool for gender euphoria. I am intentionally not discussing body fat, weight, or diet, but will mention protein intake briefly. Your body and goals don't need to look like mine. Please read only if/when it feels right for you.

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If you’ve been following me this past year, you’ve probably noticed...my life got totally changed by a new hobby that's made me feel the most me I’ve ever felt. Full-body, head hair-to-toe hair, gender-euphoric, deeply-aligned MEG.

It’s transformed my mental health! It’s made me feel at home in my gender expression! I found weight lifting. And I’m ripped now!

My pre-jacked origin story

I had been taking casual strength and dance classes on and off most of my adult life. I knew weightlifting and dance were my forms of exercise. The ones that feel the most joy-fueled! When I'm lifting and dancing it feels fun, helps me find my peace, and not totally filled with misery the way I feel when doing other forms of movement.

In one particular strength group class I had a trainer (hi Rich!) whose mantra was "You belong in the gym". He preached it every class. Made sure everyone knew they fit into the gym environment just as much as anyone else. He would never let us call ourselves "weak" and really did a lot to boost confidence for me. It was really beautiful watching people who had never touched a barbell slowly flourish, gaining confidence, and gaining strength. Rich gave me the confidence to go out alone and do it myself (like every good trainer should).

So much so, that one day I realized...I don't just want to casually work out anymore. I want to get absolutely RIPPED! JACKED! DORITO BODY! BIG MUSCLE MEG! BIG BABY BOY MUSCLE BRO ENERGY! PUFFY CHEST! BOULDER SHOULDERS! MUSCLE! MEG! MUSCLE! MEG!

Scaredy Meg finds safety in research

Okay but now what??? I’ve always just done what my trainers in the classes told me to do. And I wasn't exactly consistent or trying all that hard. So I would see my strength improving a little but I would never write the weights down so I wouldn't really know what weights to grab each time.

So, the first step was to sign up for a Big Scary Gym so I could get jacked the way most do. I was mortified, nervous, and excited. Rich built my confidence. I! Belonged! There! but I really didn't know what I was doing. The imposter syndrome was definitely there.

My response to fear is to learn (the reason why I’m an amateur meteorologist!). When I know everything about something it makes it less scary. So I learned. Everything.

Before I stepped foot in that gym, I spent literal hundreds of hours researching everything I could about training to gain muscle. I first learned that it's called hypertrophy training. Then, I learned about progressive overload and how many reps and sets are optimal for gaining muscle. I learned about gym splits (push, pull, lower, etc). I researched all the movements. I learned about all the machines and how to use them. I learned about form. I learned about nutrition and protein intake and if Creatine is actually good or if it's bad (it's good!). I learned which supplements are scams and which are backed by real science. Actually, most of my research was trying to sort through what information is for the views vs what’s backed by science.

I loved the research phase, but it was time to actually GO so I could do the rest. Understand which movements feel good to my body, which feel fun to do, and which I don't enjoy...so I never have to do them again!

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Person who "doesn't do goals" does a goal

I'm not a goal-oriented person so even saying "I want to get jacked!" was intimidating because it meant I had to WORK? TOWARD? A? GOAL? I'm quick to eject myself from situations if they aren't fun, peaceful, or fulfilling so I was totally expecting that to happen. Well, turns out setting a goal, having it be fun AND fulfilling, and then reaching the goal feels euphoric! Fine, goal people, you win.

I started this journey 1 year ago and was quickly blown away by how peaceful, meditative, and fun it's been. I've never moved my body with a goal before. Trainers used to ask me "Meg, what's your goal?" I would say, "No...no goals. Goals bad for me." And they would hit me with a 😧😧😧.

But, doing a goal Meg’s way means that I have to have fun and it needs to be sustainable. I don't like misery just for the sake of meeting a goal. Absolutely not! So I decided to approach it methodically, tenderly, and carefully. I followed the feelings of fun and peace. And because I did, the motivation flooded in. I started gaining muscle faster than I thought possible and felt more comfortable in my gender presentation than ever before!

My goals:

1. ☑️ Gain muscle, in the most fun, peaceful, fulfilling, and sustainable way possible

2. ☑️ Understand if being jacked can assist my expression of gender

After one year I've checked both boxes:

1. ✅ Gain muscle
   Muscle mass increased by 20%, cute!

2. ✅ Understand if being jacked can assist my expression of gender
   As a genderfluid person, I never know how masculine or feminine I want to be longterm or on a daily basis, but the balance is something I'm always searching for. Getting ripped has made me feel more masculine and allowed me to feel more confident in my femininity. For now, it's been a euphoric balance that I didn't know I needed, until I arrived.

10 things I've learned after 1 year of training:

I’ve had dozens of conversations with people curious, but intimidated, by weight training. If you’re curious, read on to learn what has surprised me about the type of weightlifting (hypertrophy training) I do.

1. It doesn't feel like hard work

I KNOW! But hear me out!!! Previously I had been working out in class settings and with trainers. These experiences are typically designed to be fast-paced and aimed to get you the most out of your time in 45–60 minutes. This usually means high heart rates and lots of strenuous work with little rest time.

Because of this, I thought "working out" = hard, strenuous work. I thought it felt miserable! The amount of times I've had to take a break to almost (or actually) vomit during a class shouldn't be legal. But I thought working out = misery. The kind of misery that made me dread going every time but feel accomplished afterwards.

Hypertrophy weight training does NOT feel like hard work to me. Which I think surprises most people. But that’s because it's mostly resting! Yeah, you lift really heavy for 8–12 reps, but then you get to take a lovely, peaceful 2–5 minute break! The sessions take longer (60-90 minutes), but most of the time is spent chillin’!

Now I separate my cardio from my weights. I'll do the cardio I find fun or peaceful (dance, sprinting, or stairs) on my off days or immediately following my weights. No more nausea, no more misery! But hey, some people are chasing the misery, and I get it. Just not for me!

2. It's made me mentally strong

Because weight training is mostly rest, I find it so meditative. For my 60–90 minute sessions, I am typically partying hard during my sets (the fun part), then switching to rest mode where I'm just vibing hard for 2–5 minutes (the peaceful part). Then I pump myself up and get ready to party for my next set.

This is true, present, self care. I'm not looking at social media. I'm just focused on rest. Focused on my lifts. I'm locked in! It's the perfect combo of fun and peace I require to feel calm, centered, Meg.

The more I weight train, the overall less anxious I am in my day to day. My mental health is rock solid when I am in the pattern of training consistently. There’s science in there if you care to look into it. Some very wacky life things have been thrown my way since I started training and it's shocked me by how little they've mentally affected me. Things that would absorb deep into my anxious soul before, now slide right off of me.

3. I don't have to do what I don't enjoy

When you're on your own weight training journey, you decide what you get to do. This goes back to the working out = misery thing. Loads of people message me and say "I want to weight train but I don't like barbells" or "I want to build muscle but I hate lunges". Me too babe! You don't have to do it if you don't like it.

For example, I don't like lunges, deadlifts, barbell squats, or anything to do with abs. So, I don't do it! It's your journey. You choose!

If you want to grow a specific muscle you can look up all the options for movements that target that muscle. Try them, pick your favorites, do those, don't do the ones you don't like! Easy!

The influencers will say "You HAVE to do hip thrusts to grow your glutes!" Well I don't like hip thrusts, so I don't do them! And I've grown my glutes a whole inch since February, so suck eggs!

And if you have mobility concerns, injuries, or needs that require adaptations, this hobby is extremely flexible. Not all movements work for every body, and that’s okay! This stuff can be adapted endlessly.

My two favorite machines! The V-Squat & the Belt Squat.

4. It's alllll about gender expression

One of the coolest things about weight training is how customizable it is. You can literally choose what parts of your body to grow based on how you want to feel and present. For me, that’s been huge for gender expression and I'd like to think that most people weight train for gender euphoria whether they realize it or not. Even though, I recognize that most of aesthetics are societally constructed, which I'm always trying to internally challenge.

For me and my unique gender expression, I've learned that I want massive shoulders, biceps, and triceps, but not traps. I want huge quads, but I don’t care about my calves. So I can train to reflect that!

5. Protein intake is just as important as the weights, ugh

I hate that this is true, but it is! Even though I'd been strength training on/off for years, once I started eating minimum 100g protein/day, I started seeing more progress in 1 month than I saw in YEARS. Oops!

I used to eat a lot of vegetables, fiber, carbs, everything BUT protein. You can lift weights all day every day but if you aren't giving your muscles protein, not much can really happen.

I'm not that strict about it. I just try my best, but you know me, I'm always distracted by fun, which isn't always protein. When I can, I eat loads of edamame, cottage cheese, tofu, beans, a specific brand of air fryer chicken bites I love. I've just adjusted my lifestyle a teensy bit and it's made a huge difference in my muscle gains! (Of course, everyone’s nutrition needs and access are different. This is just what’s worked for me.)

I still eat non-protein focused "FUN!" meals all the time, and that's okay! Without moderation, it wouldn't be sustainable. Meg gotta Meg, ya know?

6. Rest is cute

One of the nicest parts of this experience is realizing how important rest is. Those 2–5 minutes between sets and the days I take off from the gym are just as important as lifting the weights themselves.

My body is so strong, so capable, so I need to give back to it by giving it loads of time to recharge. Without fully recharging, I can't show up to be mentally or physically strong for myself and the world.

The rest is when the muscle fibers actually build themselves, so literally, I must rest!!!

7. It takes patience

This is the part that, in our instant gratification society, is the most frustrating. But it's such a good lesson in mindfulness, patience, and continuing to show up for myself week after week.

It's a time consuming hobby. I'm in the gym 60–90 minutes 5x a week most of the time. But I was definitely spending that time rotting on my phone before. So I just make sure to re-allocate the time I was spending doing something that didn't make me feel great, and spend it on this thing I enjoy doing instead!!

No, you don't have to go 5x/week to see progress. You can see loads of progress going 2x/week! I just love being at the gym SO MUCH that it's hard to stop me from going 5x. More on this below.

8. It's NOT all or nothing

When it comes to exercise, we tend to have an "all or nothing" type of mentality. You either need to go hardcore or not go at all. And that has always left me feeling guilty that I'm not doing enough.

But what I've learned is that you don't have to have a type A personality to live this lifestyle. I'm very chaotic. Every week is different. I get distracted by fun and unexpected things come up. That's why I love this hobby.

Some weeks I only go 1–2x/week, other weeks I'm locked in and go 5–6x/week. And I'm still growing muscle! Sometimes I'm too distracted by fun and I don't go at all. That's okay! I can go next week. Or the week after that.

Taking a break for a week or two isn't going to have that much of an effect on progress in the grand scheme of things. So now I don't feel guilty if I decide I'm not into it for a bit.

9. Going 5x a week is easier than 2x

This one's annoying but it's been proven to me again and again. Mentally, it's so much easier for my brain to be motivated to go to the gym if I go more days than not.

If I get into a pattern of only getting to the gym 2–3x/week, my brain is used to NOT going, because I go less days than I don't. But when I'm in the habit of going most days, my brain expects me to be there. It's like I get itchy if I'm NOT at the gym for a day. My brain is like "Wait, where’s that activity we love that we do every day???"

But when I stop going regularly and only show up 2x/week, my brain convinces me that I don't love it, that I don't NEED to go, and it'll make every excuse for me to not be there. This still happens to me so I know it will persist my whole life. I really love weightlifting and I love being at the gym, it's just so annoying that my brain tricks me when I fall out of the habit. RUDE!

10. You belong!

I get it. The gym is full of intimidating people who know what they're doing and you don't know what you're doing! And you don’t look like them!

But that's just imposter syndrome creeping back in to yuck our yum. We're all people and we all belong in the gym! The gym is for everyone. And you belong!

I like to think of it as a small protest by showing up to the gym. By being loudly myself in that environment I also create a welcoming space for others that don't fit the gym bro mold. Maybe that re-frame helps?

You belong! That’s what matters!

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What's your euphoric activity of choice?

I'm curious to know. By replying to this email or commenting in Substack, tell me:

What activities make you feel most connected to your power, your joy, or your sense of self? Doesn’t have to be exercise!